Grandma Mary's Fruitcake Rolls 2018: The Millennial Recipes!!!

This year at Thanksgiving, Gina bought supplies and organized production of three batches of fruitcakes.  I assume it took only slightly less time than writing her book, which is coming together as I type this blog.  After literally wrapping up the fruit cake project, Gina boarded a plane to deepest, darkest Africa to save the planet from itself.

The original version of Grandma's Fruitcake is always a favorite, but because Jay's fiancee Sasha requires a gluten-free diet, Gina put together a new version made with Honeynut Cheerios.  This may be adapted to regular Cheerios --- to reduce sweetness --- and 1/4 to 1/2 batch in the future.  However, once Jay and Sasha visit relatives or friends and hand out fruitcakes, having them be gluten-free avoids possible unintended consequences of eating gluten-rich original recipe as well as saving the efforts of making gluten-free versions of desserts for every occasion throughout the holidays.

While the Cheerios version may not be quite as awesome as the original, it is still better than the average fruitcake that comes out of the tin and lingers uneaten.  Jay has remarked that people at Universal Music initially turn up their noses at his offer of fruitcake around the holidays, but soon it is all gone and they're begging for more.

Amy is always thinking about how she can reduce her impact on the environment, so like Gina and her old Daddy before her, she decided to become vegetarian.

I stopped being a vegetarian before either of them were born, realizing that for me it just meant quickly gaining 20 pounds subsisting mostly on whole grain granola and peanut butter.

Gina also decided that for combinations of easier nutrition and lifestyle to move away from vegetarianism, although she certainly loves plenty of veggies, as long as they aren't mushrooms. 

Amy has taken vegetarianism a step further to become Vegan with a capital V, as in aVoiding all foods containing any type of animal product.  This includes butter and milk (presumably taken from a cow with her permission), eggs (ditto the innocent hen) or even marshmallows.  No, this is not part of an adopt a Marshmallow program, but gelatin contains some type of slaughter waste like skin and bones, but who wants to think about that?

Once again, for ease of sharing with friends and family, as a form of breaking bread together, a third version of the recipe went to a new Vegan formulation.

This one turned out a little mushy, as the Vegan materials apparently don't have quite the binding powers of the original, so I suggested possibly adding peanut butter, which seemed to have some appeal for next year.  

We should keep in mind, however, that peanut butter is the one thing that I always find a way to include in my diet somewhere.  Peanut butter is, after all, sort of low carb and certainly doesn't have a face, except Mr. Peanut, who doesn't seem to have an issue with eating his inner legumes.  However, what about all those non-talking peanuts?

While Gina did a lot before getting together for Thanksgiving, I was able to take off my long sleeves shirt and help with dicing the cherries this year.  It is a lengthy and sticky task, but I loved spending time with Gina, racing to see if my haphazard Japanese katana blade  approach ofcutting up five cherries simultaneously was really faster than Gina's precise single-cherry approach.  I will have to admit my end product might not have been quite as uniform, but that's what it means to be American: freedom of cherry-bit sizes!

The big production of fruitcake took place at Amy's new condo, and the kids each took a hand at stirring the big pot for three double batches.  Dollops were thrown onto wax paper that was rolled up.

After the second break, we took a break for a big pizza feast from John's, a Jersey City institution, including Pizza Marsala, which was especially good, followed by a good night's sleep.

Jay and Sasha headed into New York City the next morning to see the sights, promising to return by 4:00 PM, so the rest of us enjoyed the afternoon at Amy's place, including several rounds of Taboo and taking a walk down to the gorgeous Jersey City Waterfront with its panoramic view of New York City, including the World Trade Tower.  

An afternoon coffee break at Starbucks allowed Amy to try the Gingerbread Latte, which proved to be an excellent seasonal choice.  I split my usual favorite when I splurge at Starbucks, Caramel Macchiato, with Julie, although I was tempted by seasonal blends.  Emma devoured some oatmeal and popcorn.  Gina and Lukas had more standard Starbucks coffees.

Back at the fruitcake factory at 4:00 PM to meet the returning Knickerbocker-wannabes, we found Jay and Sasha had not returned as scheduled and wouldn't be there for another couple of hours.

The show must go on, so we went to the next phase of fruitcake making, the Santa's helper tasks of slicing and wrapping.

Armed with a knife half as long as her arm, Amy sliced the fruitcakes into uniform slices, beginning with gluten-free so as not to infect the cutting board or knife with chewy, delicious gluten.

Meanwhile Julie was cutting wrapping paper in rectangles.

We would then wrap the fruitcake rolls in wax paper before wrapping them in colorful wrapping paper in an assembly line of Gina, Emma and me.

Red paper meant WARNING, NO GLUTEN HERE!  Green was extra eco-friendly, and no real marshmallows were killed in the production of this fruitcake.  Finally blue was for the original Blue Ribbon standard.

Anyway, the revised recipes have been included below, so that Grandma Mary's fruitcake tradition so lovingly passed forward can continue.

Phase 1: Purchase and Assemble Supplies (Completed in Wynnewood, Pennsylvania by Gina)

The fact that Gina did this pretty much single handedly is quite impressive.  Those cherries and dates in particular can get pretty hard to find as well as costly, and Gina has never taken credit for bearing those financial and opportunity costs, something her new Personal Coach in Efficiency may find objectionable for future years.  Here is the recipe Gina asked me to save in this blog:

Fruitcakes: Original version + vegan + gluten-free

Phase 1 – Shop

·         3 lbs (or a bit less) candied cherries (half red/half green)

·         3 lbs (or a bit less) dried dates

·         At least 18 cups pecans, chopped

·         At least 12 cups walnuts, chopped

·         2 lbs graham crackers (crumbs if available) – only for original and vegan

·         1 lb gluten-free alternative to graham cracker crumbs (Honey Nut Cheerios)

·         8 sticks of butter (salted) – only for original and gluten-free

·         2 lbs marshmallows – only for original and gluten-free

·         2 small cans condensed milk – only for original and gluten-free

·         2 cups of vegan butter alternative

·         1 lb vegan marshmallows 

·         1 1/3 cup vegan condensed milk alternative
       (These were hunted down and purchased in Jersey City by Amy, including stopping at a few stores   with me to get Vegan marshmallows.)

·         3 large bowls

·         6 large-ish Tupperware for half-batch dry ingredient storage (two each red, green, blue)

·         1 large pot (start with gluten-free, wash between each batch – hopefully available at air bnb)
       Wax Paper
       Tape
       Color-coded plastic containers for the fruit rolls as well as a large bin to carry the assembled   materials.

·         Wrapping paper * 3 to distinguish batches (red, green, other)

Phase 2 - Chop (Completed at Air BnB in Jersey City, New Jersey)

·         Chop cherries

·         Chop dates

·         Chop pecans to make 18 cups

·         Chop walnuts to make 12 cups

·         Crushed graham crackers (or buy crumbs) – only for original and vegan

·         Crushed gluten-free cereal

·         Separate all of the above chopped/crushed ingredients the above to 3 batches

·         Original, Gluten-Free, and Vegan.

·         Pro-tip: Add dates piece by piece into crumbs to avoid clumping.

·         Mix and store

Phase 3 – Combine (Completed first day at Amy's condo in Downtown Jersey City)

·         Set up ~96 wax paper rectangles  ~7 inches wide (reserve 48 nicest ones for re-wrapping)

·         For half of the gluten-free batch

o   Melt 2 sticks of butter and then add 1/2 lbs of marshmallows, stir until melted

o   Add ½ can of condensed milk

o   Stir in 1 batch of fruits, nuts and crumbs (gluten-free version)

o   Quickly transfer to wax paper, shaping to a log

o   Tape and refrigerate overnight

·         For the original batch

o   Melt 2 sticks of butter and then add 1/2 lbs of marshmallows, stir until melted

o   Add ½ can of condensed milk

o   Stir in 1 batch of fruits, nuts and crumbs

o   Quickly transfer to wax paper, shaping to a log

o   Tape and refrigerate overnight

·         For the vegan batch

o   Melt half of butter alternative (1 cup) and then add 1/2 lbs of vegan marshmallows, stir until melted

o   Add ½ can of vegan condensed milk alternative

o   Stir in 1 batch of fruits, nuts and crumbs

o   Quickly transfer to wax paper, shaping to a log

o   Tape and refrigerate overnight – store in color-coded wrapped boxes?



Phase 4 – Slice and wrap (Completed second day at Amy's condo)

·         Remove each roll, and slice thin, starting with gluten-free, washing all before vegan batch

·         Re-wrap in fresh wax paper

·         Cover with wrapping paper by batch